7. My plans are set to pop the question this Saturday night. It's 2017: Why Are Some Men Still Asking Their Partner's Father For Permission To Propose? Who knows? Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Arrange to meet him in person. Considering she is very independent, ask the father for his blessing 3. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. Letter to Mr. Hasseltine Asking for His Daughter's Hand in Marriage "Young Judson, before he had resolved to be a missionary, had made up his mind to the sufferings and privations which he well knew were in store for him. Sooooo……. Here is what you do if you want to properly ask your FIL-to-be for his daughter's hand. 5. The old rule goes all the way to a time when marriage was up to the bride’s family, not so much the bride herself. In another day and age, you might have asked if he was financially able to support her, but today, it is likely that a couple will need two incomes. Address any concerns or reservations that he may have. The ancient tradition of asking a woman’s parents for her hand in marriage can have significant importance to your daughter, especially if she is Christian. We've been together for almost three years now, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else but her. In 2014, the guys most likely to ask for permission are those least likely to need it. Being her father, I am convinced the gentlemanly course is to first attain your blessing of the union. I still would not ask – I’d announce. This rite of passage not only shows the love of your life how truly committed you are but also can be a great bonding experience as you pave the path for a strong relationship with your new future family. I would like to ask her to marry me and I'm here today to ask … This is your deal now. “Many men and women have no desire to relive those kinds of customs,” he says. Show you’ve been paying attention and treat him to a special day together as you build up to the big question. He is very hard to read and extremely hard to talk to on a normal basis just because of the type of the man he is. I promise to be back early if I am done before time. In today’s world, the old tradition of asking a father permission to marry his daughter can feel quite antiquated. In the same way the tradition has evolved to be a sign of respect to the parents, the wording has also changed. This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. Talking to him on the phone is like talking to a brick wall. Since he has been the one taking care of her for her life before, you want to be able to prove to him that you will take just as good care of her as he has when asking for her father's permission to the marriage. In today’s world, the old tradition of asking a father permission to marry his daughter can feel quite antiquated. I hope it isn’t rare in you. My girlfriend and I have been talking about getting married for some time now. Make sure marriage is truly on the horizon before you stress about how to ask a day to marry his daughter. A wet-behind-the-ears bachelor would be expected to discuss his finances with his prospective father-in-law. It would be unfortunate for you to give your permission for your daughter's boyfriend to marry your daughter, when in fact, she may not want to get married -- or that she doesn't want to marry him. Start typing to see results or hit ESC to close. Ask the father for permission to marry his daughter 2. Adoniram Judson’s astonishing letter to his father-in-law asking for his daughter’s hand in marriage. Do not send an email or a letter asking her parents to grant permission to marry. She is the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman a man could ever ask for. I am extremely frustrated. One more thing, ask your mother how she would have liked to be asked from her parents. of course, you don’t need his blessing so you can choose not to speak to him at all and then visit him as a couple, announcing your plans. Then say something about why you feel now is the time to move the relationship to the next level and follow it by asking for their blessing. I hope this helps relieve some of your stress surrounding the proposal. Judson lived from 1788-1850 and was a missionary to Burma for almost 40 years. I’m running out of time! If you feel as though you must ask something, just ask for his blessing. By continuing to use this site you agree to these cookies. However, promises are likely to stay even when people don’t. We have the answer for you! 4 A father could refuse the marriage proposal if he deemed the gentleman unsuitable. Maybe he’s getting nervous about the thought that his daughter may be getting married? I have already postponed this 2 other times. I have tried to get to sit with him 7 times over the last few weeks and he never has time. If you want to marry my daughter, you bloody well ought to be able to pay for her, was the thinking. I have been planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me for sometime now. Fathers would usually make the decision as to whether the man asking for marriage is suited for his daughter and for joining the family. It’s very sweet of you to want to ask the dad for his permission to marry. I am wondering if it would be acceptable to sit down with him and my girlfriend and we could all talk openly about it or is that a ridiculous idea. It is with this in mind that I wish to ask her to be my bride. 7 Tips On How To Ask A Dad To Marry His Daughter June 20, 2017 – Posted in: Jewelry Blog. They might actually prefer you forgo asking their father for permission to marry or that you ask their mother instead.. This rite of passage not only shows the love of your life how truly committed you are but also can be a great … I have thought about the what if he says NO thing……and my feelings are I wanna be with this girl forever! Do not call your girlfriend’s parents on the phone to express your intentions for marriage or ask them for permission over the phone, unless you have no other option. You picked it for a reason (if you haven’t yet, Blue Nile and James Allen can help with that) – so share any meaning or symbolism behind it! If you intend to marry a very independent woman in her early 30's, and you're an old fashioned guy in his late 30's, is it appropriate to: 1. He raised her, so you are really complimenting him at the same time. You may be head over heels with one another, but if you haven’t discussed your future and when marriage is right for both of you, it’s time to pump the breaks and confront that question first. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. I really need some advice here. Asking a father’s permission for his daughter’s hand in marriage is one of them. The good news is that we have worked with 1000’s engaged couples in the 40 years that we’ve been in business. Asking the father for permission to marry... (man, couple, daughter) User Name: Remember Me: Password Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Have a casual conversation and then discuss your intentions to marry his daughter. Unfortunately distance is an issue and I have only met with her father twice which makes me incredibly uncomfortable to ask him for his blessing. How do you ask a father if you can marry his daughter? So it is important to follow certain rules. Step up to the plate in your big boy shoes! Ask them how was their marriage, how your father asked your mother to marry him.