She specializes in weddings, travel, and visual and performing arts. If you’re considering asking your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s parents for a blessing on your impending marriage, make sure you follow these tips and you’ll be on the path to a great conversation with the people who will hopefully be your future in-laws! Avoid sneaking around. Now it’s time to PROPOSE! Explain your wish to marry his daughter. Decide together whether it is better to wait until you can earn their blessing (perhaps they just want you to finish school or have a steady job before you can get married) or go against their wishes. Then family is very important in my life. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. (Mature Resp.)? Simple, but sweet. So, we were wondering if the guy should ask the … I am very excited about this and want to ask … If you are friends with them, you might see if they want to go out to dinner, but since this will be rather nerve-racking, it might be better to keep it short and sweet. This can go several ways. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. There isn't an easy answer to this question, but we suggest that you start with the parent that she has lived with the most. Soon I plan to ask my girlfriend for her hand in marriage. Aug 29, 2017 Getty Images. If you know she is traditional or would want that, then yes, you should very much ASK, it helps build respect between you and her parents. Try your best to understand where they are coming from, and to appreciate that it is almost certainly a position of love for their daughter. Here are a few tips to live by when meeting your SO's parents for the very first time, especially if you're still getting to know them. You could ask your parents to talk to her parents. I would have been pissed at my SO if he had asked for anyone's blessing. How do you ask for her father’s blessing? What's the Significance of the Maid of Honor? She is the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman a man could ever ask for. If her parents do not want to give you their blessing, try to stay calm. Hi guys I will be asking my girlfriend to marry me in April this year when we are on holiday. As I like the thought of asking for her parents blessing I will be doing this. Obviously I’ll also make sure her mother is OK with it as well. I must have my education first — those are their terms. If you've decided to go old school and, out of respect, ask her parents for their blessing to marry their daughter, that's commendable. Ya I know its something she wants, just because of the tradition of it. (Mature Resp.)? Now asking for a woman's hand in marriage is sometimes viewed as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual. 1. vote. 1. Ultimately I would put this all on the table for my girlfriend … How do I ask my girlfriends parents for their blessing to marry their daughter? We've been together for almost three years now, and I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else but her. If her parents are still married, and you happen to call at a time when only one is available, simply say that you have something you want to ask them, but would like to wait until you can ask them both together, and when would be a good time to do so. Press J to jump to the feed. Once I have found out her ring size I will purchase the ring as I have already seen one she will like. how to ask my dominican girlfriends parents blessing for me to marry her. share. But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?". The thing is her parents are divorced and live in two different states. Focus on what you came to do. Posted by 11 hours ago. i am not familier with thier customs. I hope you would allow me and find me worthy to marry your daughter. Ask how big her dowry is. Labels: Approval of Wedding from Future In-Laws, fiance parents approval of engagement, hand in marriage, inlaws approval, mom and dad blessing, permission to marry, traditional blessing from parents… 3. The questions isn't should I ask, I agree its an outdated somewhat creepy tradition that should probably end, however she wants me to and thats what matters. The only thing I am absolutely positive of is that I will ask her father (or closest male relative) for his blessing in marrying his daughter (or niece, sister, etc.). Respect … Situations where you shouldn't ask include if she is estranged from her parents, if she is an older bride, or if you think her parents will spoil the surprise of your proposal. In 2014, the guys most likely to ask for permission are those least likely to need it. We both live in California, but our family lives in NH. If you feel that your girlfriend is super independent and doesn't like the idea of asking her parents for permission because it's her choice, then don't ask. If you feel her parents think it's important one way or another, make sure your focus is on your future wife. It's a deeply sexist practice. By Jill Filipovic. If that is the case then you may want to check whether or not she wants you to ask her father. But if done correctly, it can be a beautiful meaningful moment and opportunity to both honor and bond with your future in-laws. Give them a chance to express their concerns and consider their words carefully, advises Liz Moorhead with the wedding planning organization A Practical Wedding. They'll probably suspect, but that's okay as it will give them time to be prepared and know what to say. We are doing everything old school marriage before sex and all. Start by saying a sentence or two about your love for their daughter. While my wife and I were dating, I had the opportunity to visit her parents on several occasions. I believe in asking for a blessing from the parents before the actual proposal. Ask her for advice. Try to meet him before you ask. Her parents are very traditional and her father is not the friendliest man (despite dating her for 4 years.. he's just not very friendly to anyone, not just me). (They say we are too young, too immature, and need to wait; God doesn’t rush things, and that if us being together is meant to be, then our separation will only make us stronger.) Respectfully ask for his blessing to marry his little girl (but don't refer to her as such). If your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary. This holiday season we are flying home to be with the folks and probably will not see them until after we get engaged. Her father passed away about three years ago. You'll probably want to tell your girlfriend what happened, but try to avoid seeming like you are asking her to take sides. For example, you might say, "As you know, I love your daughter very much. It would be extremely hard for me to be excluded from my wives family and to cause discord in her family. Keep it PG. I respectfully and sincerely ask for your blessing. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. Should they live far away, try to call at a time when you think they'll be home. Close. He was so nervous he almost didn't go through with it. Decide together whether it is better to wait until you can earn their blessing (perhaps they just want you to finish school or have a steady job before … Her family is also expecting it and they think we are a good couple so they will not be surprised. We both live in California, but our family lives in NH. How do I ask my girlfriends parents for their blessing to marry their daughter? Then contact them. All my love, Arthur John Posted by madhatter at 1:55 PM . Dec 13, 2018 - If you want to ask permission before popping the question, follow this guide on how to ask for your lover's parents' blessing for your engagement. A Final Thought. Generally, it's a nice gesture, assuming your sweetheart is close with her parents and that they are relatively traditional. Don’t mention any negativity that might hang between you and her parents, or her and her parents. Although you may not want to blatantly ask your partner if they’d like you … Did you (or your husband if you are a woman) ask the bride-to-be's parents permission or blessings before popping the question? Check out our expert's opinion Is she really independent, for women’s rights, and untraditional. We have discussed it at length for at least a year now so I don't doubt she will say yes. Before you decide to ask your girlfriend's parents for their daughter's hand in marriage, consider what you know about them and if this is something that they will expect or even appreciate. If her parents do not want to give you their blessing, try to stay calm. they only speak spanish ,i only speak english. It's not a sign of respect. You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. Don't Ask Your Girlfriend's Dad if You Can Marry Her. When you have strange, weird, embarrassing question, and there's no one else to ask. This is an old tradition that some parents might see as essential, while others might not expect at all. My parents disapprove, and say they will only give their blessing when I am finished with school. We have been talking about marriage and it is going to happen in a few months!!! Be respectful. Depends on the parent and your girlfriend. Communicate with Your Partner Beforehand. Ask if you can treat them to a meal/outing/whatever. Be sure to ask both parents, unless of course she is estranged from one. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. I think it's common to think that you have to ask them but where I live in North Carolina, U.S., it doesn't seem like a big deal. You could also start with the parent you think is the most approachable, especially if you are nervous. Love & Dating. Love & Dating. I was raised with old-fashioned values, and so that moment will mean almost as much to me as actually asking my girlfriend to marry me. All he needed to do was ask a simple question, five little words, and yet at the time, they seemed to be the five most momentous words ever. If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. If Her Parents Are Divorced, Which Parent Should You Approach First? Home Q&A how to ask my dominican girlfriends parents blessing for me to marry her. The only problem that may occur is that her mother wants her to be a independent person until she is 30 or so. I am going to propose soon and am not sure how to approach this. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry her. That will surely break the … You'll probably want to tell your girlfriend what happened, but try to avoid seeming like you are asking her to take sides. - Don’t ask anyway if she expresses disdain towards the tradition. Let her explain it to her parents if they are upset after your engagement – she's their daughter, and if she explains it to them, they will understand why you didn't ask them first. Asking for a parent's blessing or permission was once a standard part of an engagement. Signs He's About to Propose 1. 1. When you guys are having a good time let them know you want to propose and would like their blessing. What type of girlfriend do you have. 6. Then say something about why you feel now is the time to move the relationship to the next level and follow it by asking for their blessing. More posts from the TooAfraidToAsk community. This holiday season we are flying home to be with the folks and probably will not see them until after we get engaged. First ask yourself if that is something your GF would want. Get our free wedding checklist when you sign up for our newsletter. updated Oct 14, 2009. posted by jgbravo56. Ask both parents when you see them — elder deference > male deference — and ask them to keep a lid on it, though I recommend proposing immediately afterward and … She was the first one that should know and respond. Rather than asking for their permission, ask for their blessing. Your girlfriend’s parents love her and want to see her happy, but you might not be the man that they dreamed their darling girl would marry. Nina Callaway is a longtime freelance writer with over 15 years of experience. 5. No compromise. Culture, individual opinion, religion, etc. If you are unsure about whether or not your girlfriend's parents will … Find out what their reasoning is if you can. If you live close by, the easiest thing to do is to call and ask if you can stop by for a moment as you have something to ask them. But her father ’ s blessing her family are more liberal, it can be a meaningful! My education first — those are their terms ( she knows it 's coming just not when.! Could also start with the folks and probably will not see them until after we engaged! Freelance writer with over 15 years of experience, just because of the Bride Wedding,... 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